Monday, March 26, 2012

Outed At Work! - Part 2

In follow up to my last post where a colleague coincidentally came across my photo on the Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome Wikipedia page, I just wanted to mention that this has been no big deal.  I sent my colleague a short Facebook message (since we are Facebook friends, but don't really hang out at all except for an occasional group lunch in the corporate cafeteria) mentioning that I had heard he had found out, and was available to answer any questions he had.  His response was along the lines of "Meh... No big deal," and it's been dropped since then.

I've found that this condition is usually "no big deal" to most people who find out.  I think that some of us with AIS or other DSD/intersex conditions find it a much bigger deal than those people around us.  Not to downplay it for those of you for whom it is a big deal.  But as a friend of mine is fond of saying - it's simultaneously the biggest, most important, and the smallest, most trivial thing.  How much it matters really depends on where you are in your life and in dealing with it.  For me, it's made me who I am today in so many ways, but is one of the last things on my mind on a busy day balancing work, friends, family, and health in general.


  1. thanks so much for writting this blog.
    i am 27 years old and just last week i discovered i am ais.after taking my genetic test result and see the XY.
    you cant bileive how my world fell horrible i felt.i am a male??? i asked myself.
    so google helped me so much....and now i am calm and i feel better...but i have to go to remove testises...i worry about that.
    have you any problem after surgery about estrojen?i am very concerned about it...really pill can replace the lack of estrojen???

    (sorry about my mistakes at english)...i am from İRAN...but i live at TURKEY...

    1. Hi Sepid! Wow, that is some intense and difficult news for you to receive. I am glad you are feeling better now. You may have some days where you feel really sad and alone and others where you feel happy and optimistic. All of your feelings are justified and good to experience.

      Do you have any support there in Turkey? Are you happy with your medical care there? If you would like to chat more (maybe by Skype or email) please let me know and we will figure out a way to talk in more detail. There are some good resources out there like support groups with hundreds of other women like us. Please let me know how I can help, Sepid.

      Some women opt to not have the testes removed as they are the best source for your natural hormones. However, I do hear there is a cancer risk. The amount of risk varies, depending on whom you speak to. Estradiol or other pills can replace the estrogen you will lose if you have them taken out. Some say that it is not a good substitute and they feel differently being on pills instead of one's natural hormones, however some have good results. It is really dependent on the individual.

      Happy to talk more privately if you like. And can also connect you to other resources. Just let me know.

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Hi again Sepid,

      I wrote down your contact information, but deleted your comment so that your email address will not be shared with the general public. (Don't want you to get spam.) I'll reach out to you privately so as to protect your identity if you desire. Thanks!

  3. Hi dear
    ok :) i send 2 email for you.please check your inbox

  4. Most of my male friends are in difficult relationships and a lot of it has to to with PMS, PMDD, perimenopause and menopause. AIS is a genetic mutation but it sounds like a pretty good one to me. Knowing what I know and if given a choice I'd choose an AIS or TG woman as a mate. I think most men would agree.

  5. Are you no longer posting on this blog Zoe?